"The m0ment i knew him..was a false h0pe yet...I was still thankful''

The Crust

when i was always ask about my dad, i had often replied" well, he was drowned on a bowl of soup,,a statement that people would c0me bursting out of laughter..that ridiculous thing was usually what my family says when we c0me to talk bout my dad..but when i think of it seriously, i tell myself there will come a time when we will meet s0meday maybe me at 35 or 40yrs,,or maybe older but surely n0t after im g0ne..Many yrs have passed til d b0ost of s0cial netw0rkng..i have tried this way in searching for my dad. Unluckily i failed by the time i used  friendster. This had not taken long time  until faceb0ok d0minates to be d  top s0cial ntw0rking c0necting pip0l around the gl0be..There i finally found his name..uh,such a feelings of ac0mplishment and excitement had envel0ped my heart..s0 out of the euphoria and interest, i  opened it an went into inf0.page..g0sh! I exclaimed inside of me,this is it! Well, at the back of my mind i cleared out everything..I'm n0t expecting al0t fr0m him..if ever he has already his own family,, so  be it..i d0nt mind..all i need n0w is to see, kn0w and let him kn0w about me..That was all for me., it is not a big wish from  a curious me,,Well,well, of course  i made the first move or else i'll be loosing the half part of my life. So  i invited him that day and then my invitation was as quickly accepted the next day as i checked my pending notifications When both of us were online..i become so desperate to give utter the first word....so i initially start the chat  with a  ''hi'' and luckily he send back ''hello'' For me that day..my happiness was no where to be placed for its like its bursting and spreading without feelings of remorse or anything. My heart seemed like to jump out of its place..oh n0, that ambivalent feeling just don't like it much,,because its going up to my ecstasy and what now if  in the end this would turn out him ign0ring me? Then just to do my mission as i said earlier of why i aimed of knowing this man so i told him about my happiness of seeing him though not personally but only in picture..after 22 yrs...That my mom showed me a picture of you with a name at the back of it and stating that this man is your dad..that i have been already living with my granny after my mom had her own family in the city and that i had so much pride for all the success and struggles i had fot my profession and for what i have become now..all these i told him.. but unfortunately no answer had been made,,,even just a huh? or what? or ..i dont know...those words might had muted him and loaded much into his mind,,,reminiscing the past .So this is just what i am saying...a hanging thing...when all i need was just a recognition or affirmation that he was the man i was refering to...though i am 100% certain of it thats he is  really my dad..you know the ''lukso ng dugo'' thing...its true indeed! ..much more he admitted that they were once lovers of my mom...only up to that..nothing more than that crap. Well maybe he's just afraid of his family to kn0w of it..and i think its just natural to be hesitant of revealing the past cracks...unless he had been open to his family,,,the thing i wished of..

Oh...the day had been long and dramatic for me...the happiness is still strong..but painted with a little patches of disappointments yet I'm coping from it...its nice to know long time unseen person,most especially if that person is the reason of your existence,,,i simply thank the lord for giving me the  m0ment when  i g0t to see him though in picture again, and kn0w even a litle about him. :D 

i'l give him the time...I will  wait for it like i did for the passed 22 yrs...for where will this end up ? but to a nicely surprising meeting between us.

The Core

The point here is....not all the times, things happen according to the way we want it to be ..though we pray hard for it to happen.

But never despair and blame God for all the chaos and all that's lacking  in life. He might have the best reason of giving the fate to us...and at times it might be so long before we get to understand  things right. And in receiving as little expectation we ask from Him...is not something to be mad of...or worth coursing His name...yet...a time worth patiently waiting for...knowing that in His time He will grant us though not what we expect from Him but rather the best He sees for us..

With this.. we should be thankful and be ever grateful of His Guidance and Love for us all!